when my dad was in college he had a friend who told a girl he’d take her on a date unlike any other she’d ever been on and so he took her to the supermarket to watch the lobsters fighting in the lobster tank

they’re married now

(via pizza)


I love when people shut the fuck up

(Source: condom, via fake-mermaid)


can you illegally download sleep

(Source: cisphobic, via fake-mermaid)


you’re so cute I just wanna hug you and kiss you and cuddle with you and also fuck you but hey man it’s whatever

(via fake-mermaid)